Ad nauseum

My earliest memory of an advertisement is that of Dhara. An old grandfather tries to tempt his petulant grandson (Parzaan Dastur) back to home by bribing him with homemade Jalebi’s. I was so hooked up on that ad, that I insisted my dad to take me to railway station to watch train in motion and come back to have sumptuous meals of jalebi’s.

We always rush to our remote’s when the anchor of a show says “Don’t go anywhere folks, we will be right back”. I always say to myself “Oh yeah, try me biach”. Unless the advertisement has a ridiculously petite girl in it I always nick to another channel.

And true to Murphy’s Law the other channel too airs ads at the same time. Here are some of the advertisements which I happen to remember.

Thumbs up/Any cola ad

Tag: Taste the thunder

You want cola? Bite me

A similar kind of theme is seen for many advertisements. A guy has a choice between cola(no fancy name for me) and a babe. The guy performs death defying stunts to get to the can/bottle of cola.

It is shown that men, yes even the straight ones prefer a bottle of cola over women. I could reason with them if it was vintage wine or at least beer. Carbonated sugar syrup, seriously are you fucking kidding me?

And mind you these ads get the highest ratings as cola companies try to sell their products. They market it as if their product were the totem of happiness. In about 12 years of consuming colas, no babe wanted to cling on, tug on my shirt and pose ahead with a pout.

The only thing that has clung on me ever since is a hemispherical waistline.

Hero Honda Deluxe

Tag: Desh ki dhadkan
A guy gets down from a bus. The local uncle (Any one who is 10 years elder to us is an uncle, we take offense to being called Mister). He says “Padhai to bahut ki hi par gaon main hi reh gaye”( You studied a lot yet why did you stay back in the village?”
The guy nonchalantly replies without batting an eyelid. And visions building hospitals, call centers (Because the ad and the bike is of international reach, Call center-Slumdog millionare-Indian. Connect the “dots”).
And soon he is shown to be a business leader.

Why a business leader would want to ride a 125 cc bike is beyond me.

Tampon Ad

(Any frigging tampon)
The class is abuzz with activity and the girls are shown exchanging chits of paper. Like a stack of dominoes the whole class lights up reading the note and happiness is stitched to their visage seamlessly. The nosy teacher looks back and takes away the chit and when it reads “Whisper abhi Rs.24 only/-” She too gleams in joy.

I saw this ad with my cousins, the youngest being 7 asking all of us in the family what is that product and blue being his favorite color wanted one for himself. Of course being responsible adults we gave him the correct answer (Shut up and have some more chips).

Set Wet :: Very Very Sexy (Apparently)

It has a very suggestive brand name which should be enough to make the angry MNS wet with rage.

A guy proposes to his girlfriend with a diamond. The girl has a prima donna moment and starts to flap her hands in joy. A guy appears on the scene and cut to the scene we are shown a montage where he sprays the deodorant on his chiseled body.
The girl gets turned on by the smell and becomes clumsy. She suddenly removes her wedding ring and gives it back to his would be and leaves him stranded.

Poor him only if he had known women like deodorants more than diamonds, cheaper and more effective. Stress on “more effective” wink wink. A lot of the guys took such ads seriously and smelled as if they fell in a pool of deodorant every time they came to college.

Now I am not critical of such advertisement’s and I do agree that most of the viewers are imbeciles who believe that drinking a can of sugar syrup makes them cool and or getting drenched in an odious excuse for a perfume will get one laid.

Jago grahak jago


4 thoughts on “Ad nauseum

  1. LOL that was a hilarious post Dhanesh! 😀
    I always feel the same way when those deodorant ads air. They are so deprecating! Is a fragrance all it takes? Ditto for those fair and lovely ads. You are fair and bingo, the world’s at your feet.

    I totally loved reading this one.

    • Thank you debo,
      How is delhi treating you so far?
      I have written about the fair and lovely post “”

      Would like to hear the take on it.

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