Brouhaha outside an Exam hall

As far as banal headings go, this is certainly top of the list. Like the one going on in New York “Occupy wall street”. I thought you need to be witty to think of a motion that is supposed to be revolutionary.  Well current affairs aside, I feel relaxed as our midterms are finally over. Exams have always given me the jitters, so to face them after a long time was surely a daunting task.

But the drama outside the exam hall has always entertained me. So the following piece is going to be about the characters I/we usually see outside an exam hall.

  1. Sympathy sluts: There are people who constantly want you to remind how poorly they have prepared and are total attention seekers. They annoy you so much that you would want to bless them by saying “Cry me a river and go drown in it”.

How to identify them?

“Dude, I swear (Clutching their left man boob). I am gonna flunk so bad in this exam”. “Everything is absolutely blank man”. They seek confidence in other people’s apathy. Unless they find a prey that isn’t more nervous than them, they shall never cease to panic.

2. I am a bigger Chutia/ No I am a bigger Chutia (Imbecile): They are a group which annoys me the most. Like a hiccup before the wedding vow. Usually they are people who are of moderate intelligence and aptitude.  Unless you dig a good feet into the ground and bow before their intellect they won’t stop talking.

How to Identify? They would mostly be calm and collected. However they would start to giggle all of a sudden and confess how they started reading at the last moment and wasted their time by smoking, drinking or playing counterstrike till wee hours. “I started studying only 1 hour before man, what to study screw it” If they don’t find your response to be interesting enough. They will pace around the corridor move towards a person who is absolutely engrossed and tease them on their seriousness.

Sometimes you have a showdown between competing chutias. Each will go about flaunting their false bravado about who procrastinated better than the other.

3 Mr. Help me revise:

These are a motley group of folks who are unsure of what they have prepared. They usually go around the exam hall asking people questions to which they already know the answer.  The annoying part is they seldom allow you to answer, and go about yapping like a drunken parrot.

How to Identify?

A: Do you remember the shortcut to solve this problem?

B: Yes, it goes like…

A: Wait let me tell you, you correct me if I am wrong

B: Sigh, ok.

A: Blah, blah blah blah. Am I right?

B: Yes you are correct


4. Always Average Joe:

They are the boring, pitiable lot amongst the one I have gone through the pain of enumerating. These are the folks who know the answer to most of the questions, still end up getting lesser marks than you

How to Identify? They would volunteer to solve the problem for you, tip you on easy ways to remember stuff and still get an average score. Yours truly belongs to this unfortunate category.


They usually claim to have insider information of what kind of questions are about to surface in the exam. In truth they just want someone to help them with a topic. But why would anyone trouble themselves before the exam. I think hence they come up with their predictions.  More often than not you would have more luck betting on a three legged wooden horse at a derby rather than on their prediction

How to Identify?  “I overheard professor speaking about AC generators while he was taking a leak and I was pretending to take one right next to him.”  “Don’t ask me why but it seems prof said in his other class that this topic is a must prepare”.

To wrap up a lame blog Einstein once said…

Ah fuck it


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