Alter ego’s

Yin yang

I have this habit of regularly clearing my spam, a task not born out of habit that I do it. It’s just that I hate to be reminded that someone is trying to give me discount for male enhancement pills.  In the process I realized that my email, the spam was picking up my old username from an Id I long thought I was done away with.

I won’t reveal it but it is really a clichéd email address. Well did you used to/ have an email id which goes either as:

  1. Name007: Just by adding the code name from Ian Fleming’s masterpiece you become unique. Just like the 7 million others
  2. The obvious blogger: The blogger who goes by the misnomer like reflective emotions, Random thoughts, Musings of a random mind etc… Many asked me why I named my blog after me. Was I being narcissistic in doing so? Probably but the reason is that I’d rather have my penning’s named under my name rather than marrying it to a pop verb.

I mean after watching Batman: Dark knight, how many of the guys changed their display pictures to heath ledger’s portrayal of joker.  Most of them were/are pussies in real life incapable of emulating any evil. By pussies I don’t refer to our Prime Minister Manmohan singh’s genital but to the non-feral cats that roam the cushions of the rich.

Make no mistake, such misnomers which we keep for ourselves is kind of a sub layer to our alter ego. Not a cut and dry difference like Jekyll and Hyde. Something that isn’t vividly alive but still emerges occasionally.

When I was growing up apart from the profession, I did put effort into what kind of a personality I wanted to become. I think most of us make the conscious decision to be who we are now or would be. Failed relationships, broken trusts or some emotional upheaval in our past could be the likely culprit.

Apart from Rajnikant who had a big influence on me from dressing to dance, I observed a lot of adults the way they would behave. Like water in different vessels, their characters were in a constant flux. For eg: I would catch my uncle in a jolly mood and decide that I would decide I want to be like him. Make everyone around me laugh but also reason. On the other hand the neighborhood vendor who used to be kind to everyone might mistreat his apprentice. And when I become a witness to this act, I end up questioning my judgment over him.

The point being when do we decide what we want to become personality wise? And why do people resist change even when they know it is inevitable? When was the last time you were told “Hey, that is so not you”. “Don’t try to be someone who you aren’t”?

If life is a journey why can’t character be the same? Isn’t life fickle and finite?  I wish I met more people who aren’t afraid of change but take things in their stride. Forget my Alter ego, I don’t even know me. Call me immature, but at least I never stop exploring. The funny thing about employing this thought process is when you begin to like a person.

How do you decide that you would love them nonetheless? I guess impulse wins the battle over reason; hence I always would be Impulsive.

Or would I?

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One thought on “Alter ego’s

  1. Some very interesting thoughts there Dhanesh. Even I wonder about alter ego. Who are we, why are we and all that jazz. On blue days, the whole purpose of existence seems like one big question and then there are days when you are unusually talkative and smiling. Life keeps changing and I guess we go through a long series of introspection every day. Without our knowledge. Till of course, life dies. 😀

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