I was entertained by the way the above hash tag is trending worldwide and thought of contributing my own to this list. For the uninitiated it is mostly a list of things people say that typifies them and most of it they don’t mean.
a. (Before going to the bar)
Dude I got a job. Lets celebrate!!!
The day after You get a new “Email notification” from Bill Monk.
b. I’ll be there in five minutes (You can hear him brushing, when he says that)
c. When you show the picture of your crush or the girl you are interested in
- Diplomatic friends: She looks charming, Love is blind who am I to comment, you would look good together
- Honest friends: 6/10, but considering the fact that you are 4/10. I would say it’s a bargain.
- Close friends: I would/wouldn’t do her. Of course they would say “I was kidding” after your kick closely misses their nuts.
2. Human Resources
- We welcome you to our organization with open arms, I am sure you will love our vibrant environment. And I am your first friend; feel free to ask me anything.
- Our organization appreciates openness and healthy competition. We always promote based on performance based evaluation.
3. IT Employees
- I have identified key areas to work on and my weekly target and I am on course to finish it.
- Yesterday there was network outage so I was reading Functional Specification Documents.
- Job satisfaction is more important to me than monetary incentives.
- I promise I will introduce you to my friends. (After you are caught looking at her (girl)friends profile pictures
- You will continue to be my best friend.( I don’t know which would be a far worse job, this or the person trying to perform Brazilian wax on Anil Kapoor)
- That shirt looks so awesome on you, so what if it is purple in colour.
5. Mothers (Indian)
- I know what is best for you (packs spinach for lunch)
- You can be anyone you want when you grow up. Doctor or Engineer. We leave the choice to you.
- No this jeans does not look fat on you (Compared to Adele)
- Honestly, I knew it was from the first time I saw you. It was love at first sight.(:P)
7. Girls on girls (who they hate or think is ugly or couldn’t care to give an opinion)
- I think she has nice hair
- She is not fake, a real genuine person.(You don’t say, I thought she was from the secret Clone Human project)
8. Project Managers
- You are doing a great job guys, this project will take us places (From water cooler back to our cubicles
- How much percentage do you think you have completed? (Personally I would go with 37.4%
9. Football Team mates
- Yes I will fall back when needed to defend.
- You can play as striker if you want.
10. Air hostess on Indian Airlines
- We wish you a happy and comfortable journey ahead.
- Please feel free to choose amongst our multi cuisine menu. (We are out of stock on Greek chicken salad) .
- Me: But I am sitting in the first row?
11. Any election campaign manifesto
- Your R.E.S.U.M.E