This is a note about my recent visit to India. I have been away from home for about 6 years now. I have visited India 5 times in a span of 4 years and yet every time I visit, I see the country in a completely different way. I truly believe that traveling frees your mind from perceptions and stereotypes. This blog will attempt to be a different experiment in what passes off as creative writing.
If you have grown up on Indian movies as I have you would realize that there are two numbers which are very important: 18 and 25. You see the underlying theme of any Indian Super hero movie is almost the same. Note that I said Super heroes and not superheroes. Super heroes are mega stars like Rajnikanth, Amitabh Bachhan, Mammooty, Mithun Chakrobarty ,Venkatesh scattered across the movie industry in India. They are super heroes who make directors like James Cameroon, Wachowsky Brothers and Ridley Scott simultaneously shit in their pants with their outrageous stunts and closer to god like Fandom.
The plot would be something like when the actors (Who are close to their expiry age) come of age, learn that they or their loved ones were wronged in the past(either 18 or 25 years ago).They seek revenge or redemption thereby changing the society for good. It is never 17 or 26, it always shuffles between 18 or 25.
So I turned 25 last week and I thought of writing something about that. Before I began writing I was amused how almost every blogger wrote about themselves, their trials and tribulations with the banality of their daily life. But I have strictly staved off that path which I think makes my blog an aberration if not an exception. Thank you to everyone out there for reading!
I am at an age which often marks the onset of a quarter life crisis, some kind of identity mismanagement and a marked sense of paranoia for the future. Thankfully by Rajnikanth’s grace I haven’t faced any of them yet. But I do want to share of what I thought I would be, where I am and how I would want to be.
Basically this is just an exaggerated account of “About Me” that you would find on most social networks only with better grammar. There are a lot of differences between how I was at 18 and now at 25, physically I haven’t seemed to change much. I think I would have given Justin Beiber a good run on who hits puberty later. Without further ado following are a few of the repercussions I have felt being in the middle of my twenties
- I secretly worshiped Pamela Anderson for her massive, erm you know view on Macro Economics in the developing world. During an insightful interview she said all a guy needs to impress her is to have a decent sense of humor and a fit body. I have since sharpened my wit and physique and I have to tell you it got me from being single to BEING SINGLE. You lied Pamela, You lied to fans like me. How could you?
- I am gathering more acquaintances and in due process I am losing touch with friends who matter more.
- It is only after I came to USA that I realized that “How are you doing?” is a rhetorical question.
- I am barely able to sustain chats beyond, “Hey, how have you been? I have been good. What are you upto”. It almost immediately results in the much dreaded “Then, what else…” Those three dots after else signifies a sense of vapidity that I have succeeded to avoid for so long.
- I have learned to be quieter and realized that not every question merits an answer.
- I now know that my body rejects Mexican food as much as it rejects cheese and consumption of either of them would make me fart in a sur that even Anu Malik wouldn’t disagree.
- I have an uncanny ability to piss people off majorly even without uttering a single word. I assure you it is not an unhealthy narcissism but unempathetic indifference I have towards life itself.
- I am absolutely clueless of what I am supposed to achieve. I definitely know for a fact that there is more to life than just work-home-play. Though I don’t know what it is, I can’t give up on it. And the fact that most people who are beyond this crossroad have given up on the “search” aspect scares me. How can you be so sure of something which you put no effort to pursue in the first place?
- I can no longer respect people just because they are older than me and the corollary is also true, I cannot demand respect from anyone without earning it. I weigh respect more than love, you can fall in love at first sight. But can you respect them almost immediately? I feel we confuse between subservience and respect, I think I have figured out the difference.
- Lastly take on relationships have drastically changed. Expectations have become multidimensional and the reluctance to compromise has only gotten stronger. I recollect a hauntingly true line from one of my favorite movie of all time “Before Sunrise”-
“Isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?”- Julie Delpy.